Love and War

“Baby! Don’t attack me yet!”

And just like that, the army came to a halt.

On a Sunday afternoon, you’d be right in thinking that a young couple in their twenties would be doing something together. Going shopping, going for a walk, watching TV, even doing work together…

Me and my girlfriend were playing Empire Earth. It was fun.

I wouldn’t say that my girlfriend is a typical girly-girl, but neither is she a hardcore games-nut like me. Despite having a strong yet restrained passion for Age of Empires, she still has a 'non-gamer' attitude towards games, and thinks I’m going to dump her for my Xbox.

Yet here we were, pitting our two great empires against each other in a clash of titans. It’s fascinating how the entire nature of the game changes when you play someone close to you – there’s generally no rushing at the beginning (she wanted time to set up). No fear of cheats, or abusive language. Even boredom fails to rear its ugly head.

It wasn’t easy though, far from it. There’s something very immediate about having the person you’re playing in the same room as you, and even more so if that person is your significant other. As such, you tend to play by the rules.

So when she said that I couldn’t attack yet, I had to stop. The great war host of Byzantine Rome, legions of death and destruction that were poised to descend on it’s not-so unsuspecting prey…was brought to a stand-still by a woman.

Well they say Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships, but my girlfriend would have sent them home again.

Still, that’s not to say I was idle. Thinking of creative yet stealthy ways of raiding her territory proved to be challenging. It was like poking her with a stick; I got slapped a few times, but it was worth it.

And then she learnt, so you have to find new ways of raiding. And she learnt some more, and slowly but surely, the game’s fun-factor is cranked up until you’re having a genuinely fun match with someone you actually care for. Pounding her civilisation into the dust actually means something, since she is not just a random name on a screen.

And I will pound her into the ground. It’s inevitable. I just got to wait until she is ready…

“Baby!”

(Slap)

“I told you not to attack me yet!”

What can I say? War only has so much patience.