Reprive

Well, i was going to do an update today, but i won't. Can't be bothered, too tired, and feeling a little down again.

In the meantime, enjoy watching me pretending to be a hobo.

You ever had one of those weeks....

.... where you can't help but think it's been utter poop, yet, when you look at it, its actually not been that bad? relationship issues once again crop up at the beginning of the week...which according to the vault of wisdom that is the Myspace forum "crew", is completly my fault.. Did not get as far with my Shorthand as i had hoped, and ive got about 36 hours to do a very important Essay....lost an entire day to sleep becuase i stayed up all night to do a story...a bit pissed off with that....and then pulled a sicky for work (argos) because A: i needed to try and get some uni stuff done, and B: i think ive lost my drive.........and all i ended up doing today was A: wathing season 4 of Babylon 5, with maybe a smidgeon of work, and B: musing over the fact that i think ive lost my drive.....so yeh, its been one of those weeks. Dont get me wrong, theres been some upsides but...i feel as if though im adrift in a sea of.....Cappichino...no wait, thats what ive been drinking for the last 24 hours...god that stuff is actually quite nice....
Oh well, enough from me. how you guys doing?

Our Hopes and Expectations.........

......Black Holes and Revelations.

Random thought for the 6th December 2006.
Christmas has come once again. It always has a habit of sneaking up on me, so that I always send of the lists stupidly late. Oh well. Did them today. It seems as the years go on, I find it harder and harder to decide what I want. This year it’s mainly accessories to things I already have, or things that I wouldn’t mind having but cant quite bring myself to buy, for fear it be a waste of money.
The decorations are up, but its makes me sad. I didn’t help put up any of them. Mostly my fault, didn't get involved, didn't say "hey guys, want me to do this, or that..." but then again they didn't ask...that’s my problem, I always feel people should ask me. Then I know whether they want me around or not.
You can tell there are memories here, over two months worth of memories, and hardly any of them are mine. I don’t belong here, I feel detached and alone, I miss my friends, the bastards. Once again my thoughts stray to moving out altogether...but it’s hard, how would I tell them? I don’t want to tell them, I want to get involved, but I cant, it’s probably too late. That’s them coming through the front door now, night on the town, drink.... haven’t done that in weeks. I miss it.
I’m looking at pictures. Pictures of the early days here, where I was involved...I used to look fondly at these pictures, not they just make me even more sad. I feel I should just delete myself from them.

End quote.