Writing off: A sign post's tale.

Well folks, I’ve had a car crash. Well, I say car crash; I prefer to think of it as a ‘difference of opinions’. I thought it’d be fine to drive on the verge without looking…the sign post thought otherwise. Unfortunately, before I could argue the point, I’d smacked in to the darn thing. Don't worry though, I’m still alive and in one piece (obviously), and I thought that as you are my loyal readers (note: sarcasm) that I would tell you my tale. Because I know you’re just dieing to hear it.
Ok, so I was driving back to Bournemouth Uni Monday night. I had been home for the weekend, and I had gone to see some good friends of mine play a gig before I left, so I was going home at about 10 o’clock at night. I don’t know the route that well, and it was Dark, and if there’s one thing I hate, its not knowing where I’m going. In the dark. Pretty sure it’s a driver’s thing. Anyway, I’m on the A24 to Worthing, and just to double check, I take a sneak peak of me map, just to make sure. So, eyes come off the road, car comes on to the verge. I suddenly look up to see be skidding across the grass, and the car is slowly spinning around....and just out of the corner of my eye I can see this metal sign post come hurtling towards me. "oh crap I’m going to die" was one of my thoughts, as was "the tire must of blown" "I wonder if things will just go black like the movies" and "shit there goes my no claims bonus". Turns out things didn’t go black, the back of the car hit the post, and swung me back round.
Some kind women, who I never got a chance to thank, stopped a few seconds later to make sure I was ok, and an ambulance just happened to go by too. Unfortunately I ruined the back axel on my car, and there’s a huge dent, so it’s a write off. Need a new one now, otherwise I’m stuck in Bournemouth, and I can’t get to work. Jolly Good.

Tittybangbang, A review

Tittybangbang returns for its second series, with comedy actresses Lucy Montgomery and Debbie Chazen portraying “even more weird and wonderful characters”. (According to the official BBC blurb) Weird? Certainly. Wonderful? Not really.
With a name like “Tittybangbang” for a comedy show, you’re immediately half drawn into thinking it’s going to be about tits.....and it is. But it’s so blatantly obvious you can’t help but cringe slightly. An example, within the first 5 seconds of the episode, Chazen's character sticks a Hoover to Montgomery’s boob. To be honest, I have porn for that sort of thing. Dotted throughout the show are other similar scenes, tending to involve smutty foreigners. Not that Italian maids aren’t dirty madams, but it’s been done.
Despite the director’s obsession with sexual innuendos and foreigners, this show does have some hidden gems. Montgomery’s portrayal of Hollywood superstar Tom Cruise is one of the best I’ve seen. And it’s funny. Other good pieces include more ‘Cultural’ scenes, like the ‘elegant Mrs Baxter’, an upper class English woman who likes fighting with everyone. ‘The darters’, were Montgomery and Chazen play a couple of small down pub darters…Carol, the lazy wife, The two welsh friends….whenever they stray away from crude, OTT, sex-obsessed ‘humour’, the show actually starts getting funny.
All in all, the second series of Tittybangbang, while trying to carry on from the success of the first series, still seems like a show trying to shadow Little Britain with over the top, obvious sexual innuendos and impressions. Still, it’s worth a chuckle.

By Joe Robinson

Relocation, Relocation....

So so-far I’ve already moved kitchens, but I find “the guys" kitchen isn’t exactly the land of milk of honey I thought it'd be, is it time to move out altogether?
Some Context: the "guys" (Alex, Andy, Noel and Dave by name) are great people, friendly enough, mini-legends in their own right....but I feel excluded all the time. They never invite me to have meals with them, so I always just cook for me, while they cook for the four of them. They never invite me out on nights out.....I don’t know what’s going on. To be fair, I’ve never cooked for them either, but that’s because I never get a chance. I've offered, but it looks like they want as little to do with me as possible......is it because they don’t like me? Or is it because they never wanted me in their kitchen in the first place? (I moved because of one of my other housemates hates me and I just couldn’t share a kitchen with her). I mean its not as bad as it was before I moved, but I feel isolated when I’m in the flat, I don’t need that again. I do try and get involved, but it gets harder. Maybe it time to look for somewhere else to live? Where to go though that is the question.
And before you start, I’m just venting, people need to do that at times. Deal with it.

A Good Reporter

By Joe Robinson

Up and coming News Editor Andrew Newman, 27, believes a good reporter pries out the “hard facts”, and cuts out the “bullshit”.
He says a good reporter also needs good personal skills, to get on well enough with people so that the “prying” is made all the more easier.
This is even more important than writing, said Andrew, since without a story there’s nothing to write about anyway.
Having Studied at the Redhill College in Surry, Andrew passed his NCTJ exams and qualified to become a Journalist in February 2004.
After a few months of looking for a job, He then went to work for the Eastbourne Herald in July 2004.
After working there for a year, Andy moved over to the Crawley Observer and started out as the Clubs and Societies Editor in 2005.
He is currently still working for the Crawley Observer, having recently been promoted to his current role of News Editor, where his stories cover everything from Royal Visits to Charity workers to crawley's infamous pregnant teenagers.

Midway politics

by Joe Robinson

This week saw the tide turning in America as the Bush administration took a blow in the Mid-term elections.
Both the House of Representatives, and the Senate, have been won over by the Democrat party in what is being considered an important moment for American Policy.
Bush is reported to have been surprised at the result, having said that he "thought we were doing ok”.
Many critics have attributed this turn of events to Bush’s unpopular foreign policy, especially concerning Iraq.
In a (un)surprising turn of events, the US defence secretary Donald Rumsfield has resigned as Bush pledged to bring a "fresh perspective" to the War.
Many have seen this departure as an admission that things may not be going according to plan.
With both of the American Legislative bodies now in the hands of the opposition, and with changes already being made, Bush will have to tread carefully in order to retain some potency in the remaining two years of his Term.

Interview with Mark Jenkins

By Joe Robinson

'All work and no play' is a maxim that Mark Jenkins, Head of Sports and Recreation at Bournemouth University, believes strongly in. “Students these days don’t do enough to keep fit” he claims, and so he has made it his mission to do something about it. Mainly by using this little anecdote to get extra money for the Departments budget.
Mark has been in his current role as at the university since July 2004, after coming from a background in Local Authority Sport/Recreation, and has been fighting a progressive battle to try and bring the Universities “unfit” facilities up to scratch, with only 4 Sports Degrees at the University, the department has been largely neglected in the past. Since taking over from the previous regime, Mark has managed to increase the sport department’s budget (and expenditure) in recent years, gaining an extra 80 grand in the last academic year alone. With the Vice-Chancellors new 'Corporate Plan' currently in progress, Mark sees this as a golden opportunity to gain some much-needed investment.
Not surprisingly, Mark also has a quite active Sports History, having been a competitive swimmer from the age of 11 through to most of his young life. Unfortunately, since leaving collage, Marks time as been sparse, and so he has had to let his passion lax in recent years, especially since Bournemouth lacks its own Swimming pool. These days, Mark takes a more 'business' view on sport, He may not know who England is facing next in the championships, but he’ll make sure you have a pitch to re-play the match on.
The bit Mark most enjoys about his work is seeing a well-thought out plan come to fruition, and with development plans such as the new playing fields at Wallisdown, the creation of a third generation Astropitch, and new sports facilities well in the works, Mark has a lot of ‘enjoyment’ to be had.
What has been Marks greatest Success? Convincing the University that having the County Sports Partnership based at the University would be a good thing. Having come from the Dorset Initiative himself, he knew how trapped the Partnership was by the 'political interference' of Local Government. Bringing the Partnership to the university not only freed it from the clutches of the LA, but also made a perfect excuse for an extension to Bournemouth’s existing facilities.
What does the future hold for Mr Jenkins? Despite enjoying his time here at University, the poor standard of Bournemouth’s facilities trouble him deeply, and if the funding for his projects isn’t granted, he may have to give the local Jobcentre a quiet visit.