Hello Europe!

Yup, it's that time again: Eurovision time. You ready?

This year we're in the lovely Belgrade, capital of last year's winners Serbia. Wogan's on form as always, bottle of whiskey at the ready. I reckon Serbia only won it because they gave up Montenegro last year. That's politics for you.

I wonder if they use the Eurovision as some sort of political bargaining chip? "Give up Montenegro...and we'll let you win Eurovision." No sign of Kosovo this year, that's surprising. Perhaps they weren't freed in time for the elimination round? I've theorised that whilst all eyes are on Belgrade, the Serbian army is secretly marching on the Kosovoian border.

Some weird and wonderful entries this year, and they're really delving deep into eastern Europe with Georgia and Azerbaijan making an appearance this year. Although i reckon Georgia is there because they weren't allowed in the EU this year. Our entry this year wasn't bad, as UK entires go. Andy Abraham I think his name was, a runner-up on X-factor or something.

Armenia, Greece and Ukraine were fitties, and they happened to have decent songs too.#

Voting is going pretty much according to the Status Quo. San Marino in their Eurovision voting debut gave us 6 points, which was nice of them since most Brits probably have no idea where San Marino is. Everyone's been nice to Azerbaijan this year, considering their entry was whack.

Russia and Greece are the favourites so far. I so hope Russia don't win, they've been so smug this year, especially with their threats over oil supplies.

Crap, they won. See you in Moscow.

Good Evening Europe

That's right folks, it was that time again. Europe's greatest national event, it's finest cultural achievement, and proof that you really can't destroy the Soviet Union: The Eurovision Song Contest.

First inaugurated in Switzerland back in1956, the Eurovision contest was mainly an attempt to test 'Live TV' broadcast technology, as opposed to actually doing something useful, like help unify a post-war Europe. "Never mind that our economy is shot to hell and the Russians are moving in, lets experiment with Television!". To be fair, it is a great show though.

Whilst the format, rules etc... of the show have slowly changed and developed over the years, the basics have always remained the same: A participating country submits a performance with a song. That song is sung live in the Host country, and broadcasted all across Europe, and even the rest of the world, via Live Television. Once all the songs have been sung, the voting begins. And that's where things start going slightly pear shaped.

The problem is, even for something as care-free, cheesy, and just plain naff as Eurovision, politics still manages gets its greasy, back-stabbed hands all over it. This usually rears its ugly head in the form of regional voting blocks, for example: All the former USSR countries, vote for each other - proof that the Soviet Union still lives on. The Balkan chaps also vote for each other, as do the European block. Typically, no-one votes for the UK much these days, because everyone hates us. Except Malta. You should of seen it in 2003/2004 just after we invaded Iraq - nul pwa (0 pints). The song wasn't that bad.

Serbia won it this year, which was gay. The song was crap, and most of us had trouble working out whether the singer was a guy or a lesbian. At least with Ukraine's drag act you knew where you stood, and the song was hilarious. I have theorised that it was only because this is Serbia's first year as an independent state, having just separated from Montenegro. Everyone decided to be nice to it.

At the end of the day though, hats off to another cheese-filled, politically correct year, and to Terry Wogan and his legendary commentating skills. Good night Europe, until next time.

Politics: Tales of Apathy

Britain as become an apathetic country when it comes to politics it seems. Turn out rates at the elections are low, they can't trust Blair to tell the truth, they can’t trust Cameron to run the country properly. What’s an average citizen supposed to do? Nothing, apparently. Just sit at home, and let the buggers burn....and complain loudly every so often.
I can see why - politics gets into everything. As my loyal readers *scoff* will know, I started up Tae-kwon-do again, was looking forward to it and everything, but what do I find when I get there? I’ve joined a different "school". As the tale goes, the guys who founded the school I’m in now, kicked out the guy who founded me previous school, who then formed said school to see if he could do better - he couldn't, apparently. So now not only am I rusty, I’m from the wrong school, so had to re-learn everything. Joy.
And then there’s Political Correctness...._ don’t get me started, ill blog that another day...
In this glorious (yet environmentally doomed) post modern era, the term "Mass Media" has become literal truth - the public has so much available to them, blogs, ezines, podcasts...and so the old dogs learn new tricks. The Frankfurt school refers to a concept called the "hypodermic needle", where the media injects its messages to the public subtly, slyly and causes a Narcotic affect - I guess we've now reached overdosing levels.
Don't worry about me though folks, I don’t do drugs! Life’s too short to be apathetic...it’s also a lot of hard work if you think about it, and God knows I’m a lazy bum.

Midway politics

by Joe Robinson

This week saw the tide turning in America as the Bush administration took a blow in the Mid-term elections.
Both the House of Representatives, and the Senate, have been won over by the Democrat party in what is being considered an important moment for American Policy.
Bush is reported to have been surprised at the result, having said that he "thought we were doing ok”.
Many critics have attributed this turn of events to Bush’s unpopular foreign policy, especially concerning Iraq.
In a (un)surprising turn of events, the US defence secretary Donald Rumsfield has resigned as Bush pledged to bring a "fresh perspective" to the War.
Many have seen this departure as an admission that things may not be going according to plan.
With both of the American Legislative bodies now in the hands of the opposition, and with changes already being made, Bush will have to tread carefully in order to retain some potency in the remaining two years of his Term.