Political Correction

We interrupt your regular broadcast for this special announcement:

The government, in response to the tremendous opposition by minorities over the state of the English language, have put into place various policies that will help Britain become a truly Multi-national country.

'Black' people, will no longer be referred to as 'black people'. 'nigger' and 'negro' have also been banned, except within the city limits of New York.

"Ethnic" is also not allowed, as it does injustice to the Muslim communities, and "darkies" as been deemed not cool enough. These names are being put on what is to be referred to as the "black list", and the black population is now to referred to as the "Caucasionally challenged". Similarly, the "black list" is to be renamed the "caucasionally challenged" list.

Muslims are not to be referred to as "terrorists" unless they have a bomb strapped to them, and then only behind their back. Also, in order to alleviate fears that the Muslim populace is being picked on, Police officers are to ignore whatever it is the Muslims, or the "Christianically challenged"as they shall now to be called, are doing. This also includes instances in where they need aid, to address the balance.

"Christmas" is now to be known as the "Winter festival", unless your a pagan, where it will be called "Feast of the unholy one". Any foreigners coming from Europe to work, must be played along with, and as such, we must all pretend to know what they are saying.

Tomatoes, when in the presence of actual fruits, and other citrus-filled substances, are to be called the "citrusly impaired". Also, in order to avoid the contentious issues one has when a person says "God", He shall now be referred to as the "existentially challenged one". Any Christian denomination that is not the Roman Catholic Church shall now be called "splitters".

Third world and developing countries are now the "economically challenged", and any country with a nuclear weapons program is now "mentally challenged". In order not to offend actual mentally challenged persons, said persons are now known as "retards". Actual retards will be hunted down and shot, to save us having to come up with another name.

This concludes this special broadcast. We now return you to your regular programming.

*Inspired by the beautiful and charming Loz, who commented that black people really were caucasionally challenged.

Midway politics

by Joe Robinson

This week saw the tide turning in America as the Bush administration took a blow in the Mid-term elections.
Both the House of Representatives, and the Senate, have been won over by the Democrat party in what is being considered an important moment for American Policy.
Bush is reported to have been surprised at the result, having said that he "thought we were doing ok”.
Many critics have attributed this turn of events to Bush’s unpopular foreign policy, especially concerning Iraq.
In a (un)surprising turn of events, the US defence secretary Donald Rumsfield has resigned as Bush pledged to bring a "fresh perspective" to the War.
Many have seen this departure as an admission that things may not be going according to plan.
With both of the American Legislative bodies now in the hands of the opposition, and with changes already being made, Bush will have to tread carefully in order to retain some potency in the remaining two years of his Term.