Reprive

Well, i was going to do an update today, but i won't. Can't be bothered, too tired, and feeling a little down again.

In the meantime, enjoy watching me pretending to be a hobo.

Whats in a name?

You know one impression I've received about my blog, (Other then that it rocks everyone's socks, obviously) is that people are not quite sure what my name means. I had an American once ask me what does "Geeser" mean in the context I'm using. Maybe i should of thought harder about the name.

Well, to be honest, it was an off-the-cusp wordplay that i thought up in the 30 seconds i had to think of a blog name, before my lecturer had me shot for being too slow. Ever seen the film Memoirs of a Geisha? Nah, me neither, but i thought to myself: "Blog" "Like a journal" "My 'memoirs'" "Memoirs of a bloke" "Bloke = Geeser" "Geeser sounds like Geisha, from that film I've never seen" "Well that's clever, I'm using that" And viola, you have Memoirs of a Geeser, which i thought i was in a general sense. Although apparently I'm "too young" to be a Geeser.

Maybe I'm just too clever for my own good. Yes, that must be it. It's obviously not that i come up with naff word plays, or ill conceived ideas. I'm just too clever. Yes. Too clever.

In other news; I'm going to a meeting today with the Editor of The Wires' online version. He wants me to do some blogging on it, so watch this space. (All very exciting). Oh, the picture? yeah i couldn't be bothered to find a themed one today, so i thought I'd put that up to underline the following point; yes, i am a driver. Fear me.

Stuck with you.

I've decided to add a new sponsor. As of today, Joe Corp. is proud to announce that it will be supported by: The Past. (See the bottom of my blog for a full list of sponsors.) As one of the older institutions, The Past is committed to provide quality service, based on traditional values. It provides sound service by sticking with you no matter where you go, its cheap, easy to apply and to add to, and it promotes equality across its membership, since, not matter how good or bad you are, it will always haunt you in your dreams. Now that's what i call service.

It's not a good idea to dwell on the past, i mean, what's done is done and there's not a lot you can do to change it. But you can still cringe at it from time to time. That's what happened to me the other night. I keep getting these rushes of all the stupid things I've done over the years, whilst I'm trying to sleep...not quite what I'd call entertainment. I was drunk in a lot of them, which is no surprise. I always do stupid things when I'm drunk. I'm either confrontational, depressing, or a mixture of both. This one incident, i hacked off a group of lads looking for a fight, and they chased me and my friends. They weren't too pleased about that.

Despite being a not-so-average clever person, it's amazing how stupid i have been over the years...i blame the parents to be honest. Even my parents blame the parents. It's all their fault. They should know better then to try and nurture and care for me during my upbringing. Then again, I've had my share of not-me-induced awkward moments too, although those were of a more intimate nature, and as such, are none of your beeswax.

Watched The Truman Show again yesterday. Love that film. Strangely enough, i had watched an episode of Spooks (BBC MI5 spy drama) just before that, which was also along the line of false realities and how easily our minds accept what we're presented with. Got me thinking. I do that a lot you know. I was going to blog about it, but i changed my mind. Bit too deep for a mere blog.

Still no sign of bike, and I'm now in desperate need of a shower. I think i may drive the local wildlife into extinction any minute now. I know what your thinking, and yes, my pic is of a T-shirt, and yes, i do own it. (and yes, i am way cool.)

Good Night, and Good Luck.

University: First contact

By Joe Robinson

Expect anything. This would be the first piece of advice I would give to any prospective Uni student; expect anything. Other tips would be; stay calm, open up, make friends, get to know your flat mates, your local area…and spend the first couple of weeks drunk, it helps pass the time.

No matter what people say, nothing can quite prepare you for university life, no matter how many you talks you have, how much advice you get, workshops, even visits can’t quite prepare you for the real thing, it’s one of those things you just need to go out and do. So expect anything, because for the first time in your life, you are on you are truly on your own, independent, by ya onesies, alone, and do you know what? It can be scary. I was scared, but I did the only thing you can do; bite the bullet and made some new friends. Because the worst possible thing you can do is end up being a recluse, it doesn’t help you or anyone else, and trust me, it’s the worst feeling in the world.

I would be lying to you if I said my time here has been perfect, because it hasn’t. As the saying goes, “shit happens”, and it happened to me. My first accommodation was Halls of Residence, and these particular halls were unique, as they were basically flats consisting of 18 people. Now, do you really expect to throw 18 random people together and hope that they all get along? It doesn’t work. By the time I got to Christmas, I had moved out. Now I’m living with 3 guys, and I’m having the time of my life, all is well. But don’t let my little episode put you off, as I said, expect anything. Despite my troubles in the first term, I still had fun, because there is more to Uni then your flat mates; there’s you’re course-mates, your course itself, other friends that you make during your time. Here’s another tip for you: when you have chosen which universities you want to go to, see if they have a forum somewhere, where new students can meet each other and talk. I met some of my greatest friends here on the SUBU forums. Try it.

Another key issue is money; money makes the world go round, it makes YOUR world go round when you’re a student. So start saving. Now. I mean it. The more you go into Uni with, the easier it will be on you. A job is also helpful, but don’t go nuts. I had to quit my job because I didn’t have any time to myself, but I could quit, because I had been smart with my money. Don’t wait until you get to Uni to find a job though, because that’s just stupid. If you have a job with a retail chain, see if there’s a local unit, and get a transfer. It’s what I did. You’ll probably get told to budget, my response to that is, if you can be bothered, do it, if you can’t (like me) just be sensible. Keep an eye on your money reserves; try not to buy unnecessary things. If you must have the latest Muse album, try and find it cheap.

What else? Eating is essential, I recommend you eat at least once a day, otherwise you might die. Knowing how to cook one or two meals also helps, as you can take turns with your housemates and cook for each other, although not everyone is into that, so don’t be put off if you’re cooking for yourself most of the time. Whilst at Uni, you may get struck by random bouts of Nostalgia. As I type this out to you, I’m looking at an Optimus Prime Transformer figure I bought. Don’t worry, it happens. Don’t be put off if your room is small/grimy/depressing. If it’s liveable, you’re ok. A car is not always essential. It depends on your circumstances. I happened to take my car, but now that I’ve quit my job, I don’t use it as much as I used to. Waste of Money? Maybe, but I can afford it, so I’d rather have it around.

Some final thoughts for you: If you thought you were smart before, prepare for a shock. Remember your now entering a selective environment. The people around you are there because they are just as smart, or smarter, then you are. Don’t be put off. Do your best. Remember, they wanted you there. Missing the occasional lecture will happen, but don’t make a habit out of it. Strangely enough, you WON’T get a degree by not going to lectures. Last but not least, enjoy yourself. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do, don’t hang around with people your uncomfortable with, and don’t bite off more then you can chew. Remember, you’re there for you, no-one else. (Although for god’s sake, PLEASE work hard at your degree, you're there for that too.)

Wires, sinks, and the bike that was.....

The new issue of "The Wire" is out today. For those who are un-knowing, the Wire is my universities student-run newspaper, for whom i write for (all very exciting). Yes, there is an article by yours truly in there, not front page, but never mind. I guess a sponsored sleep-out isn't that important really. The wire has an online counterpart, which i have yet to get into, check it out here.

In other news: My bike has been stolen, which i was rather annoyed about. Was walking to my house yesterday, glanced at where my bike should of been, only to realise it wasn't there anymore. Poo.

Today's picture is a tribute to the wonderful invention that was, my bike. Incidentally, the bike in the pic is not mine, i found it online somewhere.

Finally, my kitchen sink is blocked, rendering me unable to cook anything, because all the pans, plates etc are dirty. Hoo-rah.

Political Correction

We interrupt your regular broadcast for this special announcement:

The government, in response to the tremendous opposition by minorities over the state of the English language, have put into place various policies that will help Britain become a truly Multi-national country.

'Black' people, will no longer be referred to as 'black people'. 'nigger' and 'negro' have also been banned, except within the city limits of New York.

"Ethnic" is also not allowed, as it does injustice to the Muslim communities, and "darkies" as been deemed not cool enough. These names are being put on what is to be referred to as the "black list", and the black population is now to referred to as the "Caucasionally challenged". Similarly, the "black list" is to be renamed the "caucasionally challenged" list.

Muslims are not to be referred to as "terrorists" unless they have a bomb strapped to them, and then only behind their back. Also, in order to alleviate fears that the Muslim populace is being picked on, Police officers are to ignore whatever it is the Muslims, or the "Christianically challenged"as they shall now to be called, are doing. This also includes instances in where they need aid, to address the balance.

"Christmas" is now to be known as the "Winter festival", unless your a pagan, where it will be called "Feast of the unholy one". Any foreigners coming from Europe to work, must be played along with, and as such, we must all pretend to know what they are saying.

Tomatoes, when in the presence of actual fruits, and other citrus-filled substances, are to be called the "citrusly impaired". Also, in order to avoid the contentious issues one has when a person says "God", He shall now be referred to as the "existentially challenged one". Any Christian denomination that is not the Roman Catholic Church shall now be called "splitters".

Third world and developing countries are now the "economically challenged", and any country with a nuclear weapons program is now "mentally challenged". In order not to offend actual mentally challenged persons, said persons are now known as "retards". Actual retards will be hunted down and shot, to save us having to come up with another name.

This concludes this special broadcast. We now return you to your regular programming.

*Inspired by the beautiful and charming Loz, who commented that black people really were caucasionally challenged.

Just Communication?

Well, I've done it again. I've managed to completely, utterly, and profoundly offend someone so much that they don't want to speak to me. Ever. I'm not going to name names, because i still respect this person, regardless of what she now thinks of me. Doh.

Now i know what your going to say, "think before you speak", right? Well the problem is, this time, i did. I responded to a question that was asked, and i thought about this question, and i responded, using a logic that only i would use. Apparently its sick and twisted.

I rather object to that, i just have a certain way of looking at things. Does it make me a bad person? I would never do anything to deliberately harm anyone, or support anyone who harm others...but, certain situations are beyond our control, so why bother?

Oh well, all a man can do is move on. It's kind of funny though, this person has systematically erased all proof of my digital existence from her sphere of influence, i could almost smile to that.

Strangest thing of all: I'm genuinely upset by this. Despite not knowing said person for very long, i liked her, respected her...she helped me alot. Now, she thinks I'm monster. Maybe i am? Who knows....even my course mates think my reasoning is strange.

I hate it when this happens.

A few cogs short of a hand-basket.

You can actually ignore most of that title, just take with you the keywords "short" and "hand" and you have today's topic: Shorthand. It's not topical, it's not controversial (well...) or even politically incorrect, its just difficult, and it consumes most of my time. So i thought I'd take a break from it and talk to you about this wonderful skill.

Shorthand is something Journalists use to take down notes from interviews and the like, quickly and efficiently, to be transcribed back into longhand at a later date. (It does actually work). Secretaries and office people also use versions of shorthand, like 'Pitman' and 'Gregg', however UK Journalists tend to use a form called Teeline', which is more suited,but not the best known version of the art. It is based on the standard alphabet, and things such as vowels and silent letters are omitted for quick read and write-a-bility. So i word like reach in shorthand, will have the shorthand letters rch in it, to form the word. Context is a key thing with this.

When you look at it, you tend to think "it's like learning another language"...well it is, and it's just as annoying as learning another language, mainly because there is always, always, an exception to the effing rule. Last time i learned a language, it nearly ground me into the dirt, and i had to give it up. This time i have no such luxury.

On the plus side, it's kinda cool. You can write down secret messages to your friends, or even just doodle. The other day i wrote my friends birthday message in shorthand....and then scribbled around it with translation notes for her. She liked it though.

I best get back to it now. Once you've got the theory nailed down, its not so bad. As a present, i leave you this:

Brownie points to whoever works it out. (ask nicely and i may provide a hint)

How remiss.

You know i realised earlier that i didn't send out a valentines day message on the day? How remiss of me. Well to be honest it rarely registers these days anyway. Ive been alive 19 years, and Ive celebrated a grand total of 0 valentines days, sad, but true. I might recognise that there's an increased amount of red and pink things all of over the place, but that's about it... i had a meeting on the day as it happens, then did some Tae-kwon do.

However, in the spirit of things, let me just wish everyone a happy valentines day (belated, i know) and for those that don't have one, like me; chin up, you never know what might happen during the next year.

Keep it real.

Your it....well, maybe not.

Did anyone ever watch Newsround? Me neither. Saw it the other day though, i should so be on that show. Top story tonight: Tag has been banned in the playground, on grounds that it is "too rough" and "unsafe" for the children, other games like Bulldog have also been band.

Well you might as well stop them stepping out side. I mean please, tag? All you can do is fall over, and that happens plenty of times without tag in the equation. (Humanities' sense of balance not being what it used to be.) I noticed that the report also said that games such as football, and cricket (which involves big wooden bats) have not been banned. Much safer, obviously. Cute little interview with one of the school kids though, "playtime is boring now, we can't do anything". I feel your pain my miniature com padre, i really do. Used to love bulldog myself.

In other news: Had a meeting today with some guys down at the Student's Union. Nerve Radio is going to be going out live come march :) so stay tuned. You may even here yours truly doing a news broadcast. Check out Nervemedia at http://www.nervemedia.net

And the weather today: slightly detached from reality today, not sure why. Usual bouts of south-westerly sadness and frustration, and a Storm front of un-appreciation and gloominess set for sometime tonight. As always positive spells will wink in and out throughout the day.

Coming up next: watch me shave.

The Febuary Holiday

Family traditions, I feel, are one of the finer things in life. Having an activity, or a place, that you always go to each year… gives a sense of stability to ones life.
Over the weekend, I went on such an activity. Every year, me and my family spend a week in a holiday cottage somewhere with several of my mums oldest and greatest friends. It was them, who actually started the annual holiday, and they've been doing it for 21 years now, and I’ve been doing it all my life. They actually worked out that they had spent a total of 6 months of their lives with the same people, and agreed that it had suitably scarred them for life.
The cast of this motley crew of middle-class misfits is a combination that can do nothing other then produce hilarious results. We have Greg, the quietly eccentric Mancunian. Chris and Dave, a witty middle-class gay couple, Claire, the mad Irish women, Phil, a very down to earth Jordie man, Andrew, whose very quiet, very-upper class, and who comes, says hello, and then leaves again. There’s also Alison, who’s a middle class nurse, probably not the funniest of the lot, but adds that essential element of blondness. Then of course there’s me and my family, who are, it can be said, local legends. (Despite the fact that it is a different location each year.)
This year, we went to Leek, in Staffordshire, to a Cottage just remote enough to be in the middle of nowhere, yet close enough to a town so that we wouldn't get bored shitless. Sadly, the nearest pub was two miles away. Me and my family could only stay the weekend mind, since the weeks were dodgy this year, but i still had fun. Before we even got to the cottage, the Car had gotten stuck at the bottom of steep road it couldn't climb because of all the snow. So we had to leave it there and walk the remaining 5 minutes. I tell you, i could of gone home right then and still have had a good time.
Next year will probably be just as fun…more so, in that hopefully ill be there all week this time, but until then, th ththththtthh thats all folks.

Oh, and I know what your thinking, and we are way cooler then Big Brother.

How old are you?

Physically or mentally?

It seems the older i get, the younger my mind wants to be. As i sit here typing this out to you, my eye gets drawn towards the Optimus Prime action figure i asked (thats right, ASKED) for christmas. I get hit by moments of nostalgia now and again..especially when it concerns the Transformers. That show was the shiz. (Movie out, March 07! See it!)
My dad maintains that he is still 12, which is probably were i get this "childish" streak from. Whenever im at home, i act like a kid...then again whenever im here i act like a kid, but more sophisticated. I also have a child-like mentality in that, i find it hard to concentrate on things i relly should be doing. Again, my eye gets drawn to the shorthand noteback lying next to me, which i was working on until i decided to do todays blog. Oh well, better wrap this up. I did say to my teacher i'd have this done by tommorow.

Do you want to live forever?

I do. Not to be famous or anything, just want to live forever really. It'll give me time to catch up on all the work I’m behind on.
I went and saw FAME today. It was being performed by students here at the university. Naturally given the time, space and everything they were restricted by, it was a bit of a truncated version, but I had never seen any version of it. I was impressed.
I grew up around amateur dramatics, and I appreciate how hard it can be, but it was bloody good, singing, acting everything in general really. Sure, it you good pick holes in it, and be left with a huddled, twitching sack of meat, instead of a performance...but what’s the point? They gave it there all, and to be honest, taking everything into account, they did bloody brilliant. A course-mate of mine was in it....God knows why he chose Journalism.
I will say this though: I noticed a lack of ethnic diversity in the cast. Not that I care, but a sad, cynical person might pick up on that. Even the black character was white.

The power of children

"It's very odd, what happens in a world without childrens voices"

This quote is from director Alfonso Cuaron's Children of Men, which i saw for the first time last night. (Bought it on DVD as part of Monday's operations) Ill tell you this, straight of the bat, its bloody good.
Its one of those intriguing films that takes a glimpse into the not-so distant future, and tells the story of a world filled with terror, destruction, despair, oppression....all the usual rackets, bar one: Children. The Human Race has become infertile, and for the past 18 years, there have been no children. (Which naturally sent the world to pot.)
The story begins with the main character, portrayed by Clive Owen, in a coffee shop watching a news story on how the youngest person, aged 18, has just died. Said coffee shop is then blown up a few minutes later. The rest involves Clive Owen's character getting unwittingly drawn in to perform "escort duty" for a girl, who it later turns out is pregnant (shock horror). From then on in its a nerve-racking escape to the coast, as anyone and everyone wants to get there hands on the baby for their own agendas, and the lil tot is actually born towards the end.
Camera work for this film is nothing by spectacular, with Cuaron pulling out all the stops to shoot the film in such a "realistic" way. A trademark of the film is seamless, uncut sequences that last 10/15 minutes, that really add to the atmosphere and the sense that its happening. Yet this is not the best this film had to offer.
For me Ladies and Gentlemen, this film boiled down to one, simple, beautiful scene. Ironically, it's not one of Alfonso's seamless sequences, nor does it contain any outstanding acting (as such), but it’s still magical. Picture this:
Bexhill: a grimy, decaying town, outlined as one of Britain’s many Refugee camps where all outsiders are shoved inside like sardines. It is the ultimate symbol of what the world had become, very reminiscent of a war-town town from World War II. The Scenario: The refugees (lovingly named 'Fugees' in this film) are having an "uprising" within the camp, and the Army has been sent in to deal with it. There is fighting everywhere, on the streets, in the buildings, Army guys duking it out with the militants, smoke, blood, death....Owen and the girl are trapped inside a building with militants, a tank is outside battering the place in, the soldiers storm the building, they see the baby....and then it stops. The Soldiers, the militants, the death…it all stops. And for what must be 5 glorious, breath-taking minutes, there is peace. As Owen leads the girl outside, everyone just stares at the baby, some even pray. Then of course some twit lets of a grenade whilst everyone is distracted and it all goes to pot again. For me, this scene did it, it really captured the essence of the film and was one of the best moments of the film.
Yes, it is very odd what happens to a world without children’s voices...but just look what happens when those voices return.

And the headlines today....

I went shopping in town today, for the first time in a gillion years. It's good to finally have time to yourself you know, even if its purely for the sake of spending money you really should be saving.
Was going to go cash that check in that mum gave me a month ago, but, typically, when I got there the branch was closed, and an ambulance outside. Apparently the manager was dieing or something, so it rendered the rest of the staff impotent.
Oh well, it'll keep another week. I did pick up some DVD's and some music that I wanted, so I came home happy. I also had a Burger King for lunch, which I hadn't done in a while...it doesn't seem to taste as nice these days.

Your probably wondering what this all has to do with the title? Well i also picked up a copy of the Guardian, had some amusing headlines:

Richard Branson wants our homes...and possibly our babies
- NTL has been re-branded Virgin Media, and cable/satellite TV companies across the world are about to enter a state of Total War.
Clubs are enforcing stricter clothing guidelines
- You now can't wear any hoodies, any stripy shirts, and not too much dark material, nothing that could symbolise "gangs" or "trouble".... Nightclubs set to become top nudist hotspots.
Bird Flu outbreak in Suffolk
- it's a complete mystery, but might have something to do with the Hungarians (Damn their hides).

Well I thought they deserved a chuckle. Back to the studio

CV: Your life, your future - all on a few pages

My first day of Unemployment, and god did it feel good. Slept in till like 1 o’clock, which i haven't done in ages, then had myself a fry up. Lush.
Then decided to update my CV, which I hadn't touched since Argos employed me over a year ago - well when you've got a job, there’s no need really is there? I've never had much success with these things, I try to make myself look good, but I guess it rarely works. How can you sum up someone in two pages anyway? (By writing a decent CV, they chorus) yeh well...this time My CV is going to rock their socks. I've actually lived since the last time I wrote it, so I’ve got oodles to draw on.
That’s about it for today… bit of boring day to be honest, but who cares. (Me) Who said that!? *throws rock*
Until next time.

Adaptation: An Origional Thought

I think I’ve had a semi-revelation. Came out of arguing with a friend of mine, silly argument really, but anyway, i don't think i often have original ideas…and I’m trying to figure out whether this is a bad thing or not.
Take my first ever blog, the first line, and the general idea, came from a sketch in "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"....some of the titles for my personals have come from Muse songs....in life, I find myself taking an idea, joke, whatever that I really like and using it in my own way, either adapting it, or whatever......i wonder if this means I lack originality? According to my friend, I’m "smart" and should be "beyond theft". God, maybe he’s right for once. Cheers Gav.
seems such a silly thing to be pondering about...I am who i am, and its served me well enough so far (in some areas anyway)....Take this blog as a kind of disclaimer then: Not everything you see here may come directly from me, but i try to make it as original as possible.

The Goods, the Bad Stock, and the Ugly Customers....

"Dont shop for it, Argos it!"
I nearly cried when i first heard that, be honest, it's a bit lame isn't it? Anyway: I have now left employment from Argos Retail Ltd. (formerly a memebr of some other uber-company) I didn't get laid off or anything, i quit. I needed the break..these days im on a 7 day week; 5 at Uni, 2 at Argos, and it does get a bit tiring after a while...so i left. Ill miss it, ill probably even regret it somewhere down the line, but what can ya do? the way i see it, apart from getting a degree im here at uni to have fun..and thats not happening right now, and i cant exactly quit uni can i? so the job goes...Ill be ok though, unlike my compadres here at Bournemouth Uni, ive been quite conservative with my money.
Speaking of Conservatives, Cameron has been badgering Tony Blair to leave office, again. He claims it's now in the "National Interest"....hes probably right. I mean even i think Blair is hanging on a bit now. Oh well. On with the show....

Politics: Tales of Apathy

Britain as become an apathetic country when it comes to politics it seems. Turn out rates at the elections are low, they can't trust Blair to tell the truth, they can’t trust Cameron to run the country properly. What’s an average citizen supposed to do? Nothing, apparently. Just sit at home, and let the buggers burn....and complain loudly every so often.
I can see why - politics gets into everything. As my loyal readers *scoff* will know, I started up Tae-kwon-do again, was looking forward to it and everything, but what do I find when I get there? I’ve joined a different "school". As the tale goes, the guys who founded the school I’m in now, kicked out the guy who founded me previous school, who then formed said school to see if he could do better - he couldn't, apparently. So now not only am I rusty, I’m from the wrong school, so had to re-learn everything. Joy.
And then there’s Political Correctness...._ don’t get me started, ill blog that another day...
In this glorious (yet environmentally doomed) post modern era, the term "Mass Media" has become literal truth - the public has so much available to them, blogs, ezines, podcasts...and so the old dogs learn new tricks. The Frankfurt school refers to a concept called the "hypodermic needle", where the media injects its messages to the public subtly, slyly and causes a Narcotic affect - I guess we've now reached overdosing levels.
Don't worry about me though folks, I don’t do drugs! Life’s too short to be apathetic...it’s also a lot of hard work if you think about it, and God knows I’m a lazy bum.

'Rolling' story exercise

By Joe Robinson
*This situation is theoretical, it never really happened. We were given more information as the day went on, and so our bulletins evolved.
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A train crash at Holton Heath has delayed the launch of South-West train’s new train stock, it was revealed at press conference today.
A South West spokesman stated that one of the older models, which go as far back as 20 years, came of the rails at 9:02 this morning.
The £60 million investment was to receive a ceremonious opening after the morning press conference, but this was also put back because of the incident.
South West trains currently have no details on the crash, and services out of that area have been delayed until the rescue equipment can be called in.
The spokesperson declined commenting on how long the delays will run, and casualties are unknown at this point.
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Vandals have been blamed for a rail crash in a remote part of Dorest, which has left scores of passengers trapped within the carriages.
No casualties have been confirmed, however the British Transport Police will not be able to get passengers off the train until more help arrives.
Lifting gear on its way in is due to arrive sometime after 11, and the Mainline has been closed to all other services.
There have also been reports of a second incident involving another train just after 10am, however no details have yet been confirmed.
A BTP spokesperson stated that the situation had now grown from what was thought to be “just a nuisance” to “something much more major”.
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A train collision has caused mass mayhem in a remote area of Dorset, outside Holton Heath.
A goods vehicle collided head on with a passenger train as it was being slowly towed towards the nearest station, having been partly derailed by vandals earlier in the day.
The vandals are believed to be local teenagers, however no suspects have named.
A Chief Inspector for the British Transport Police stated that the “situation had now changed” and that their priority was “to get people out of he carriages”.
There have not been any confirmed casualties, but there is strongly believed to be serious injuries, as there is mass damage to the hit section of the train, and a small fire inside one of the carriages.
Police are currently involved in operations to rescue the 200+ passengers from the wreck, and other emergency gear is believed to be on the way.
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The Driver of a goods train heading for Weymouth, one of two trains involved in a collision earlier today, has died in hospital. Bryan Ames, 56, had jumped out of his cabin just before it collided with a derailed passenger train. His daughter, Sally Ames (21) states that her dad “had worked for FreightRail all his life, and always did his job well”. According to prelimary reports, there had been some confusion with the signals, and so Mt Ames was unawre of the aituation ahead. Along with Sally, Mr Ames is survived by a 13 year old son.
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A train crash has caused chemical waste to leak into the surrouding atmosphere, says Dorset Police. A goods train heading for Weymouth, carrying chemical’s such as Asbestos and Lindane, collided with passenger train as it was being towed back to a station. A Dorset Police spokesman said that the chemicals are “highly toxic” and that they “can cause long term damage”. All 200+ passengers from the train have been evacuated, and residents in the local towns and villages are being urged to stay indoors. It is estimated that the number of affected people ranges up to 8000. At the moment, there has been only one confirmed death from the crash, and several other cuts and bruises. Dorset police will be commencing an investigation into this incident “as soon as possible”.

Students battle the cold for the cause

This month saw the Student Union hold its 6th annual sponsored sleepout. From 9pm on the 25th of January, to 9am the next morning, 26 guys and gals from around the university slept outside the Open-Access Centre to help raise money for homelessness here in Bournemouth. Support for the event has been varied, as last year only 12 people turned up so this year’s turn-out is seen as a big improvement. For the past three years the sleepout has been run by SU Volunteering Officer Joshua Seaman, who is also a 3rd year Marine-Archaeology student. In an interview with The Wire, he said how he was “not too disappointed with the numbers” and thought “it went very well”. Tea and Biscuits were available throughout the night in a near-by class room, and whilst most people brought their own sleeping bags, spares were available should anyone staggering out of Dylan’s decide they fancied a nap. This event is also supported by the Salvation Army, who receives any money raised from the event, and sends a meal van down in the morning to provide the brave pioneers with a bacon role and a cup of tea. Marie, who manages the meal-run thinks it’s “absolutely wonderful” what the students here at BU having been doing, and that it “shows the homeless people that young people do care”. She also said that events like this are “not just about meeting a need, it’s about making the people fee valuable, to share the joy”. When The Wire went down to see how everyone was getting on, they all seemed to be in good cheer, and a lucky few were even sound asleep. Hannah Mozley, a MA Journalism student doing a research project on homelessness feels that it is “important that something is done” and that “Bournemouth has a bad reputation for homelessness”, she also feels that sometimes these events “don’t necessarily make a difference, but help serve a persons conscious”. In response to this, Thomas Whitman, a 1st year Journalism student maintained that taking part in events such as these “show that you are conscientious”. Emily Darling, a 2nd year Communication Studies student, feels that people “always take things for granted” and that it is important to “give something back” “a good cause”. Other sleeper-outers like James Taylor and Caroline Ewens both feel its good to “do something practical” and that sleepouts like this “help raise awareness”. Whilst camping out outside the uni, campers noticed how passers by seemed “indifferent” to what was going on, and that they had heard “a lot of ‘poor student’ routines”. When The Wire grabbed Jennifer Sarah Brazil, a passer by, she seemed to confirm this. When asked, Jennifer said that she thought it was “probably good fun”. Luckily, sponsors have been quite generous, with one girl receiving over £100. Last year the 12 participants raised £500 between them, and with the money collected in the buckets already at £213, Joshua is convinced that this year’s takings could be well over a grand.

By Joe Robinson

January SUGM

This months Student’s Union General Meeting (UGM) proved little better then the equally ill-fated AGM meeting last term. Despite 103 people initially turning up, meeting the minimum quorum for policy to be passed, numbers dropped as the meeting went on, reducing figures to 86 before the second motion. Since the constitution states that a quorum of 100 or over students is required to pass student union policy, any motions that were carried during the meeting could not be passed in any official capacity. This makes the 4th UGM in a row that has failed to meet quorum. Their were 4 motions tabled at this terms UGM, one for a Darts board in Dylans or D2, one for changes to the constitution regarding Clubs & Societies leadership qualifications, one regarding the bulk student spam mail and one regarding fylering just outside the Uni gates. The one most people were eager to debate on was motion two, proposed by both the Christian and Islamic societies, which proposed that the
SU constitution is amended to allow the freedom of a society to elect leaders who adhere to that society’s aims and core values. This proved a very controversial point, as opposers within the Students Union itself felt that this went against the “equal opportunities” principle that the union upholds. After some back-and-forth, the motion was eventually passed with a majority of 54 -32. The motion to put a stop to all the junk mail wasn’t as popular as people reckoned, falling with only 10 people voting for it. The final motion, to do something about the fylerers outside the uni gates, was passed 32 – 0, after being amended to add the inclusion of a bin. However, due to the fact that the flyerers are outside University property, it remains to be seen what action the union can actually take. The two passed motions will be brought up again at the next UGM, to make sure the students are happy with their choice, and to try and pass them officially with a Quorum.

By Joe Robinson

End-Game

Sony has confirmed that the release date for the Playstation 3 here in Europe will be 23rd March 2007. Retail superstars GAME have been spreading the word as to the long awaited consoles arrival as they finalise details on how customers can pre-order from them. Being the last of the Next-Gen consoles to arrive, Sony’s new toy may have some catching up to do, and this may prove easier then people think. Proudly sporting the slogan “this is living”, this powerhouse of a platform boasts state-of-the-art technology in the form of Blue-Ray disks, HD multimedia interfaces, advanced graphics engines, Bluetooth technology, and much more. Expected launch titles include Resistance: Fall of Man, Virtua Fighter 5, and Need for Speed: Carbon. With the release of the final contestant in this generation’s console war, the games can truly begin, and may the best console win!

By Joe Robinson

Last Orders

Saturday 27th January saw the final march of the Devon & Dorset Light Infantry Regiment as it laid down its colours to rest at the Regimental Cathedral in Exeter. As part of the sweeping army reforms announced back in 2004, traditional single battalion regiments are being disbanded and merged to form multi-battalion super-regiments, with the Devonshire & Dorset merging with The Light Infantry, The Royal Gloucestershire, Berkshire and Wiltshire Light Infantry, and The Royal Green Jackets to form a larger light division called The Rifles.
In a ceremony rich with both symbolism and patriotism, troops both veteran and cadet paraded through the city streets before presenting the colours to the Lord Bishop of Exeter Michael Langrish. The history of the regiment goes back to 1958 where the two regiments of Devon and Dorset were first amalgamated in Germany, and The Dorsets themselves were first founded in Ireland in 1892. Regimental Secretary Lieutenant-Colonel Geoff Nicholls stated that the men and women of the regiment “recognise the considerable advantages of belonging to a larger regiment and move forward into the future with confidence”. He also hoped that the people of Devon and Dorset will “soon refer to The Rifles as their regiment and follow their exploits with pride”.

by Joe Robinson