Relative Values: Sister Act

Pauline Farrell is a 44 year-old Human Resources Manager for the NHS. Her sister, Anne Farrell, is a 46 year old ex-pension expert, who is now unemployed. One is a single mother of two, who is currently seeing someone, and the other is happily married with no children. They both grew up in the same room, with the same brothers, sharing the same Irish heritage, and they both used to wait for their father to come home from work. Despite spending a lot of their adult lives apart, they now both currently live in Crawley, West Sussex, and are closer then ever.

Pauline: We didn’t really do a lot of activities whilst growing up; mum and dad had no money so we had to make do with what was around. We never shared interests as such, but we shared a room and were the youngest two siblings, so we spent a lot of time with each other. We both liked pop music and we used to imitate an old female dance group called ‘Pans People’ a lot. Some of my earliest memories are me and Anne walking the boys to school, this was before we had started school and mum couldn’t leave us on our own and so we had to go with her. As we all got older, I found myself being the only one not at school yet, and I remember trying to teach myself to write – although this was mainly me just jotting together letters and asking if it was a real word. We never disliked each other whilst growing up, but as we became teenagers we never really appreciated each other fully – it’s hard to have a personal life when your sister is in the room with you. I sometimes felt a bit left out, as everyone else were a few years older then me, and I often couldn’t join them whenever they went out. When we became adults, we both went our separate ways, I married and tried to start a life elsewhere, and Anne stayed at home and did pretty much the same. We kept in touched, and visited each other. We are much closer now because we know each other as adults. As children we were just like other siblings – you have good times and bad times but you take your family for granted and you only really get to know them when you are an adult. Anne would do anything to help me, she is so kind and generous. She supported me whenever I had a problem, especially when I became a single mother trying to raise two children. She was one of the reasons I moved back to Crawley. It’s strange though, because from my perception I spent as much time with my cousin Louise as I did with Anne when I was growing up, but it is Anne that I am close to now. It must be her amazing hand-crafted cards

Anne: One of my earliest memories with Pauline was when we helped mum walk the boys to school; we did it a lot since we couldn’t be left alone in the house. One day Mum was running late so she had to quickly put a coat around me whilst I was still in my pyjamas. So there I was, sitting on top of the pram with Pauline in it, in my pyjamas. It was very embarrassing. Me and Pauline did most of our activities together at school, since coming from a poor family meant there wasn’t much money to actually to go out and do things. However, I started flower arranging through the church and Pauline joined the Ifield Barn Theatre, which reflects some of the differences in our personalities. Around the home, our fondest shared memories seem to be of Dad, as we both used to spend a lot of time with him. Dad used to play with us a lot. He would lie on the floor and we would stand on his hands and we would catapult over his body and land at his feet. We would also Dress up and doing ‘impressions’ to entertain him. Mum would also take us shopping to Brighton on a Saturday, while the others stayed at home. As we grew up, I think we were so used to being together that we took each other for granted, although I defiantly did not appreciate her walking in on some intimate time with my boyfriend when I was a teenager. However once we started to live apart, we grew much closer together as we appreciated each other. I have no regrets about our relationship as adults; however I would have loved to have lived closer to Pauline while her boys were babies. I used to love it when they came to visit and was always sad when they had to go home. Now of course she lives just down the road from me, but her boys are no longer babies, they are still a credit to her though. I respect Pauline a lot, especially the way she coped when she was a single parent. I know I can rely on Pauline 100% and I trust her completely. I know she will support me whatever I do (no, I haven’t murdered anyone!) and her help and advice is invaluable.

By Joe Robinson.
Before anyone asks, these wonderful ladies are my mum and my aunt, respectivley.

To Kick an Arse

Dictionary.Com defines Ass-kicking, or to be precise, the verb Ass-kick, as 'to kick ass.' Joe has been doing a lot of this lately, and is feeling rather smug with himself. Lets go down to his natural habitat to try and find out whose arse he has been kicking.

Last weekend, Joe was in a spot of bother. He had an essay to do which was very overdue, he had another piece of work to do as well, he knew he was going to fail his shorthand exam, and in general, the weekend was pretty pants. However, being the resilient individual that he is, Joe rose up to the challenge. He kicked the arse of that overdue essay, handing in Monday morning. He then kicked the arse of the second piece of work, which he handed in Tuesday morning. He still failed his short hand exam on Friday, but he had done better then he usually did, so hes quite happy about that too.

Joe has also been kicking ass on Nerve FM, reading the drive time news. Doing two bulletins every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Joe is very pleased with himself over this, as it is very nerve racking. (no pun intended)

But this is not to say that Joe is the only one kicking ass, this film also kicks ass.

As does this song.

So much ass has been kicked this weekend, that the proverbial shape of the worlds ass has now been turned in on it self. That's a whole lot of ass kicking. Stay tuned.

Here endeth the lesson

Again, i apologise to my loyal readership for the lack of updates this past week. Things have been "busy" to say the least. And i just realised yesterday that my life is in a bit of a mess. Not a thing you would think you could fail to pick up on, but hey, i spend my life being different. So now, as i right this update to you in my "break", I'm delicately balancing all the tasks i need to complete before the weekend is out. Sucks being me sometimes.

Anyway, can't wait to see 300, looks pure Guinness. Little bit miffed at the whole added mystical beast element, and those deformed people? Just no. But i shall look past them, and just enjoy the pure violence that epitomises the film. I should have been a spartan.

In Other news, Nerve FM has launched! yay! Tune in to 87.7 if your in the Bournemouth/Dorset area, and if not, got to www.nervemedia.net and listen in, because its top quality stuff, even for students. Listen closely on a Monday, Wednesday and a Friday during drive time and you may even here yours truly. Anyway, i hear that essay calling to me, best go sort it out. Aufwiedersehen.

Brain Freeze

The observant reader will have noticed by now that i have not updated for a couple days. This is true. I'd like to say i've been busy, that some cataclysmic event has physically stopped me from speaking to my loyal fa base. But to be honest, i just couldn't think of anything to say. My mind went blank for a while, all the creativity and atmosphere replaced by a white sheet, with a stick man sitting in the middle, pondering the meaning of his 2-dimensional existence whilst playing tetris on a stick game boy.Well, journalistic material has been sparse latley, pure because i can't be bothered to do any, so some more life updates and musings for you.

Hopefully, my article will make it into the paper, in some shape or form. Once it has, i shall update about it, and post a version of it up for you. Watched some films today; The Untouchables, a period film about Al capone and Prohibition, and Trainspotting, a film about some scottish smackheads. Your probably waiting for some clever and witty connection, well there isn't one. It just so happens i had seen neither film before, so, lacking any motivation to do real work, i decided to knuckle down and fry my brain.

....Do you know what, i had a hell of a lot more planned out for this update. So much for that.

In the public interest...

You hear that phrase allot in my profession-to-be. We must know the facts, because it's in the public interest. You must tell us why, for the public interest. Paris, strip naked for us now, in the name of the public interest! I had a lecture today on how to get difficult people to give interviews, for the public interest, obviously.

The question is, who decides what the "Public Interest" means? Obviously not the public, because they're just morons. I think it is implied then that we, as Journalists, representatives of the people and upholders of the "fourth estate", have to decide for you. Hmmm. To be honest, if the public interest is left down to the likes of me and my friends, then the public should be worried. Hell, I'm worried.

Talked to mother dear yesterday, it appears we have lost SkyOne, and as a result, BSG. I think i may cry. Then launch a Jihad against both BSkyB AND Virgin Media for being knobs. garr. That show was the best show ever, and now i can't even record it. *sigh* I bet this was in the "Public Interest" and all. Bastards.

Fight Club

Yesterday was probably one of the longest days I've ever had. Ever. Started the day at 5:30 am, and didn't go to sleep until 2 am this morning. Thank God for days off.

Why partake in such madness you ask? Well Sunday was the date of the World Tae-Kwon-Do Federation's 21st Annual Student National Championships. (oooo) Our University club went up to Bristol to compete and win us some medals, and i went along, as a club member. (Didn't compete this year, for various reasons, but suffice to say i would of kicked arse if i had competed.) It was like a mini road trip, and was genuinely a great day, despite it's length.

We did alright in the end, coming away with 3 sliver medals and 2 bronze. I would of won Golds, obviously, but alas my feet could not grace the arena this year. I'll own the competition at some of the other tournaments that will spring up. The Picture (again, amazing what you can do with Paint) was taking by Moi, i think the guy in the red was from our squad. Can't actually remember though.

On the flip side, i decided to take my notepad with me, and turn the whole event into an article i plan to try and get put into the local paper, go me. It's all written up so I've just got to find my lecturer, and ask him to work his magic with the editor. I might put it up here in a couple days so watch this space.

In other news: Richard Branson and James Murdoch are taking over Britain, one living room and business share at a time. And now the two media titans are locked in an immortal struggle for our souls, and our viewing time. You might of heard that Virgin Media customers have now lost all the Sky channels because of this. Personally, i haven't been affected yet, because i don't get SkyOne here anyway, but if i go home, and find out that we've lost SkyOne, and as a result, Battlestar Galactica well.....*cocks shotgun* i think it's time to call another Jihad. So say we all.

The simple things

Despite being a man of incredible intellect and wit, I do enjoy the simple things, the little things in life. The quirks, traditions, and sayings of other people have always interested me in particular, because it's different. I like different.

These days, my main influx of quirky sayings and phrases come from the many books, comics, films that I watch/read. Take the chap above for example (It's amazing the things you can do with Paint.) He is from the Warhammer universe, Warhammer being a table top game invented by Games Workshop. In this afore mentioned universe, there are many worlds, each potentially with its own traditions, sayings, culture, and..... swear words. Swear words have got to be my favourite. Don't ask me why, there just cool. Swearing in a foreign language is cool.

It's just the attention to detail that I find so appealing about it. I mean these are people in another place and time, why would they have the same sayings we do? They fraking wouldn't, that's why. (See what I did there, did ya? Did you see what I did there? Just checking...) so next time you want to swear at someone, be creative, be different, be cool.

In other news: My feet are killing me. Seriously, I think they might fall off. Too much of this. A lot of fun though, it’s good to get back into it (long story). Hope you enjoyed the article I posted up yesterday, I thought it was about time to get another one of those up. That disclaimer at the top was originally at the end of the article, until I nearly gave a friend of mine a heart attack because she thought it was real. oops.

The dryer didn’t dry my clothes properly again, stupid kek. *grumbles*

Driver saves children from horrific crash

*This is a fictional story. It was another "rolling" exercise that i did this morning. So to recap, this didnt really happen. I pulled the picture off the internet.

A bus driver displayed tremendous heroism in Bournemouth today – after a horrific fatal head-on car crash with Joyriders.
Hugo Waller-Prynn, 59, was driving a bus full of school children from Alumhurst road when he was hit by a speeding car coming round the bend, crashing head on into the front of the bus.
Despite having a broken arm, burns, tinnitus in the head and ears as well as other cuts and bruises, Mr Waller-Prynn managed to drag himself out of the ruined cabin, and herd all of the school children safely off the bus. The children only suffered minor injuries, with a few being described as “walking wounded”.
The driver of the car was a 13-year-old boy out for a “Joyride” in his dad’s Lexus, and was travelling at about 70 mph as he came round the bend. Both him and his 11-year-old passenger were both pronounced dead at the scene.
In an interview, Mr Waller-Prynn commented that he thought he was “going to die” and that he would “never forget” the “look on the other drivers face before we collided”. He also commented how the kids behaved “very well” as he herded them out of the bus.
Mr Waller-Prynn had been working for the bus company, Wilts & Dorset, since he was 15. He had been due to retire today and Mr Waller-Prynn said he had been looking forward to retiring with his wife to Swanage. When asked if today’s events had spoilt his retirement, he replied, “I just feel sorry for the kids in that car”.
All of the children have been treated for their injuries, and Mr Waller-Prynn is still set to retire after his injuries have been healed.

By Joe Robinson